I am putting a part 1 because I know Iceland is going to have several layers to it over my lifetime in general. But let’s start with day 1 of my most recent visit.

I decided to head to Iceland by myself even though I am extremely anxious all of the time as well as socially anxious in January. I thought I was going to spend a peaceful 4 days in this cold place mostly enjoying my own company. I had a lot of bumps in the road getting there. People were worried about me, as they should. I brought an expired passport by accident. I forgot a towel. Basically most unprepared person ever and I was shaking the entire time due to my anxiety but I was excited. Though I was anxious leading up to the trip and sweating profusely through the KEF airport, I felt so much freedom when I was finally able to step outside into the fresh air.

This was not the first time I had traveled abroad but I was completely alone. I felt free and independent. I was in awe of the beauty of Iceland and just shocked that I made it this far. Nor did I feel the usual weight of my depression weighing on my shoulders. I was high on life starting from that moment. So I got my rental car and headed down to Reykjavik to the hostel and secured a prime bed by the window, facing away from everyone else. And I was ready to explore.

I ended up going hiking, horseback riding, walking around the city, tasting beer, all by myself while making a few nice acquaintances on the way. On the second to last day before my departure, I had some extra time and felt like heading out to the local pool where I had some amazing conversations with people. I was then at a bar when I saw a girl I just wanted to meet up and chat with from tinder was out again and decided to meet her. I ended up feeling so enamored by her. I’ve dated girls in the past and guys as well but I was not expecting to have such a good time and feel so connected with her. I ended up at her apartment that night and woke up with her beside me the next morning.

Fast forward to me stumbling out of her apartment, sprinting out of my hostel late, losing my rental car and barely making my flight in time. After all of that on the long flight home I basically spent it listening to the Wicked soundtrack and trying not to cry as I could still feel her hands and lips on my body.

Iceland truly awakened me and I am so grateful for every person I met while I was there.