For the longest time, I didn’t love myself. My thoughts were echoes of all the negative self talk that had been said to me over the years. My body held the generational trauma felt by my ancestors, and my environment was polluted with anti-black girl posters and media.

Then one day, I stepped out of that loop of thought and denial. You would think the awakening would have been freeing but it almost broke me. I dropped down into a depression, my anxiety worsened. Seeing everything for what it was in the light, made the world a much scarier place.

It took years of facing these demons to feel like myself again. But now the real work begins… loving myself for who I am.

Loving myself for who I am without having to downplay my talents. Loving myself in spite of how I was and am treated by others. Loving myself despite of what society tells me I should love. Loving myself even though I am not in love with a man. Loving myself for everything that I am and could be and will not be.

Growing up I felt wrong. Like constantly dropping food wrong or feeling like “God” left me unfinished. Feeling like there was nothing interesting about being a little black girl when I was everything.

Now, I am determined to change my mindset on my path of self love and self discovery. For me and most other black girls queer and straight alike, our paths to self love is anything but a smooth one.

But it’s possible.