My trauma lives in my bones
Affects the way I interact with the world
The way I speak
How I act and react
It affects my love life
My trauma is felt deep in my bones
It takes breaking them to be set free
Tag Archives: short poem
Recovery
As I walk away from that place
I feel its negativity shedding from me
step by step
breath by breath
I am me again
I am
On one hand I feel embarrassed by the disillusions my mind told me.
But on a different hand I see I didn’t know any better.
I didn’t know any better because my family didn’t, and my community didn’t, and their community didn’t see.
So change can start with me understanding, learning, and growing past these invisible blockades warping my vision.
I have enough power to change a lot.
I have these thoughts to get me through the days.
I am always worthwhile because I just am.
I am a daughter, a sister, a partner, a friend, a cousin, a student, a scientist.
I am every one of those things and also none of them.
I am fluid, I am flexible, I am kind, I am generous.
I am whole, I am forever growing, I am
❤
Thank you for being with me beloveds. Also peep at my new self love tattoo in the main image!
The Long Way To Work
Today I took the long way to work
Walked through the garden, looked at the Koi fish dancing in the pond
Looked down at my phone, and saw I got a text from her
The one who I was caught sleeping with on the floor of my living room by my roommate…
Yea that girl
In the back of my mind
I was anxious to even open the text,
but I still couldn’t help but smile typing back
“I miss you too.” I said
My mind wandered back to last weekend at the farmers market
The wind was making her scarf ripple like water
Her hazel eyes were twinkling in the morning light
We walked around, our hands sweaty, afraid of anyone who looked our way
Stealing kisses behind a shady tent
I remember the usual doors I keep closed within my mind began to open during that walk
I felt safe, I felt understood
I trip back into reality
And now the scary thoughts creep in
‘How can you make this work’
‘How are you going to deal with being in a gay relationship’
‘Your life would be easier without this complication’
I take a deep breath
These words are not true
These words are not true
I look down at my phone again,
She wants to go to the river this weekend
I type yes quickly
Put my phone in my back pocket
And continue deep breathing
‘I am staying true to myself’
‘And I will be happy because of it’.
The Chatty Cat 