I have been having a lot of bad days lately and even on my good days I am anxious about life turning upside down. Today I woke up feeling physically sick and also sick of the place I am living in. I got up to go into work, late as usual but ended up getting a lot of work done. I feel unsure about an exam I have coming up next week, completely regretting everything about it. I have been in and out of depressive periods throughout my entire study period and I have no focus. I also found out today that WOW airlines just decided to completely quit. I had a trip for next Saturday planned through them.

I quickly scrambled to get new tickets for the same time period as I went through so much to get time off and to plan some festivities. I am going to Iceland and then to France hoping my second solo trip would go a lot smoother than the first. I was able to get tickets but goodness they were expensive. And I am moving in May…. I am fortunate to even be able to afford new tickets but now I do not have much room for error for these next couple of months.

Despite all of this chaos, I am excited to move in with one of my best friends, I am excited for my trip, I am excited to graduate from my graduate program this upcoming May, and I am excited that even though I might fail, I will be taking my MCAT next week. I am so grateful for all of these things in my life right now. Maybe it is the anti-depressants keeping me from having a mental breakdown but I am doing okay despite all the stressors in my life. Barely floating, but there.

Just a reminder that even when everything seems to be turning upside down, you can look forward to the things in life you are grateful for and what brings you joy. It is keeping me calm and hopeful throughout the chaos.